A blog by James: Gamer, Father, Geek.

As stated on Twitter, I found out today that I won’t be being made redundant. To say I’m relieved is an understatement. The consequences of losing my job would have been severe. There are very few jobs going and even fewer that would have a salary close to what I’m on now. Outside of working in a school I have little other work experience too so I’m not sure what I could have done.

Although we wouldn’t end up living up on the streets, there would have been a very good chance we would have to either sell the house and move in with parents or borrow money from parents, either way putting a huge and unfair burden on our family. The prospect of all this has put a huge pressure on me and I’m just glad it’s all over and that I have had a lot of support from everyone whilst waiting to hear the outcome of my interview.

It is extremely rare for me to get angry, but whilst waiting to hear about my job I could feel the anger building up. I could have lost my job not because I’m not good at it. Not because the place I work for needed to get rid of me. But because we are absorbing another school that has failed (and been forced to shut) and to take on their staff there would be some people surplus to requirement. Now from a business and legal standpoint I understand that people at both sites need to be treated equally. But to be on the receiving end of a possible redundancy it felt very personal. The idea of losing my job through no fault of my own has never occurred to me. I’m not in a role that the school can do without (unless they change teaching regulations re: how often teachers should cover lessons) and I assume I do a good enough job as nobody has ever complained (to my face!).

A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ve not lost any sleep over the issue but I all of a sudden feel like sleeping for a rather long time. Again thanks to everyone for their support, most especially my lovely wife who no doubt has found it just as stressful as I have.

Ok it’s time to ‘fess up. It’s a secret I’ve kept from my friends and co-workers for long enough. Only my wife has known. Until now.

I…don’t know how to use the photocopier at work.

There, I’ve said it. Me, the person who was programming the Video Plus for my Mum when I was 6. Configuring sound ports to get games working in DOS aged 11. Building my own PCs since I was 16. IT Technician for 2 years for a school with hundreds of computers. The go-to person for all my family and friends on IT advice and PC repair. Stumped by the humble photocopier.

I have never needed to use one before. I have a laser printer connected to my laptop that prints stuff out pretty fast, and all documents I need printing are either provided for me or emailed so I can print them off from the comfort of my desk.

The photocopiers at work are these big monstrous looking machines with a million buttons. Worse, they’re in a room that has the door open most of the time and people are constantly in and out of it so the chances of having a go privately are slim. I do hate making a fool out of myself.

Today a co-worker (one I really fancy*) asked me to photocopy some work for me. Not just a simple photocopying job, oh no. 15 sheets of this page, 30 of this, 30 of these double sided. DOUBLE SIDED! She had written the instructions down for me but apart from that I was on my own.

First hurdle was logging into it. I am used to a computer. There is a user ID and a PIN to put in so where is the damned tab key? How do I change boxes? Of course at this point another co-worker comes in and casually starts his photocopying like an expert. Bloody show off. I announce to him that this is my first time and so he is to make no comments on me. I soon realize it’s got a touch screen to change fields. Of course. Why there would be a touch screen and then manual buttons is beyond me.

My second mistake was photocopying the sheets sideways. Luckily this was not spotted by the other guy and he left none the wiser. For a while after this all went well. I even figured out how to do it double sided. Then there was a loud whirring and flashing lights. A paper jam? But the sign on the wall says to follow the on screen instructions in the event of a jam. THERE ARE NO ON-SCREEN INSTRUCTIONS!

Time to panic. Do I phone the front office for help? Yeah ok. Nobody’s answering. Ok try the pretty lady who I’m photocopying for. She has no idea. As I’m on the phone the evil machine starts to restart for no apparent reason. Yay! I broke something that probably costs thousands of pounds.

Luckily after a few minutes it did produce instructions on how to check for paper jams. I had to pull various levers and slide out many trays, being careful to avoid the hot areas. I was like Indiana Jones if he never went on any actual adventures.

I fixed it! And again. And again. It must have jammed 10 times in different sections of the machine before I was finished. Real trial by fire stuff. My life is so exciting.

So my secret shame is no more. I have mastered the photocopier for now. Legend has it is capable of other wizardry such as stapling sheets together but I shall save that for another time. I may need to bring supplies and a small oriental side-kick with me for assistance.

Go on then you people (all 3 of you) out there, what is your secret shame? Doesn’t have to be personal just something that you don’t know how to do or have never done that you really aught to have by now.

* It’s ok, she’s my Wife, I’m allowed to fancy her

We are trialling some new security software at work called Impero. It is, in short, brilliant. Many moons ago we had a system called Ranger Remote. We could monitor student computer access, block websites and apps, lock their screens etc. It wasn’t perfect but it did the job. But either the company didn’t continue to support the software or school decided not to buy the updates, I’m not sure.

We had a brief reprise when we got some decent internet filtering, Smoothwall. It took me a while to wrestle it into doing my bidding. Of course when I’d finally got it to do what I wanted it to do (not easy when nobody in particular is in charge of such things at work) the plug was pulled. It was decided by the higher ups to go with a free system provided by the Local Authority. A system which is utterly, awfully incompetent at doing the job.

Last week we got a trial for Impero. It does everything Ranger did but better. Again not perfect but it is a powerful bit of kit. Regaining so much control over what students can and can’t access feels great. It does sometimes descend into one-upmanship. I block a game website, they find another. I block a keyword, they think of another way round it. It will always be this way. A small contingent will fight to the bitter end. Everyone else eventually learns they’d be better off just doing the work. But what to do about the others…

Well simple blocking gets boring so I decide to make things interesting. All of course in the aid of making them give up eventually. Not at all because it’s fun to get one over on them for a change. My current favourite method is to take control of their screens for a split second at a crucial moment in a game, then restore control. So fast they won’t notice. In the helicopter game I’ll disable their keyboards just long enough for the helicopter to crash. They then start the game again. I crash it again. Over and over. Some kids amaze me at how many times they will re-try it. I think I caused about 20 crashes in a row before one kid gave up. If only their persistence and effort extended to their work.

I really hope work will pony up the money for Impero. In just a week of use it’s helped me get even the most game addicted of the students to at least stick to educational games where normal threats and sanctions have ever made a difference. My last lesson of the week (which started off with a fire alarm) was made better by the extra control I had over what was going on in my classroom. The less time I need to spend nagging them to get off games the more time I have to deal with other things like actually helping them do the work!

I’m sure I’ll soon get over the “UNLIMITED POWER!” stage. But while it lasts I’ll enjoy trying to outfox those little darlings. I shall call myself CLU!

Ok Head of School just reminded me about ICT job being advertised in Feb. As in “It’s being advertised, hint hint!”. This means two things. One I’m still considered a possibility. Two: SHIT SHIT SHIT!

So I have much less time than I thought to prepare. This is the kick up the arse I need. On the plus side I think I have decent support internally. Against me obviously I’m not qualified (won’t be for another 3yrs at least) and will potentially be competing against qualified and experienced teachers.

I’m terrified. Part of me feels like a fake for attempting it, the other part of me knows I have the classroom experience and subject knowledge to have a fighting chance. I know classroom management experience is not the same as teaching. I do not teach. But I have to think I have more of a head start than someone starting their PGCE or GTP.

I am dreading the prospect of an interview and being observed teaching. I really need to get my foot in the door now though. If I don’t, by the time I do qualify there might not be a job available.

I suppose the oddest thing is that the person who is retiring taught me ICT at school. He was always a favourite teacher of mine. He encouraged my interest in computers. I remember he let me and my friends install Total Annihilation on the computers and would let us play it after school, my first experience of LAN gaming. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t have my current job either. I didn’t actually get selected for the technician job, but he didn’t want to see me go back to a part time store job so he put in a good word for me and they hired two of us. If I didn’t get that initial job here I would never have met my wife, wouldn’t have a daughter, wouldn’t have progressed to two other jobs here and be studying for a degree. I have a lot to thank him for and to take his place after he retires would bring about a nice sense of symmetry.

Gearing up

Next year I may have an opportunity at work. One that if I don’t grab by the balls and go for, that I may have to wait a long time to get again. I have until recently thought it would be a shoe-in, but recent events with someone else at work have led me to believe it will not be so easy. (Yeah, I’m being deliberately cryptic).

So I figure I have about a year to ‘gear up’. I need to learn as much as I can about the job. I need to start observing others. I need to learn the OCR course and the National Curriculum like the back of my hand. I need to prepare masses of spectacular resources. I need to make sure the right people know my intentions. I need to make sure that if the opportunity arises I’m ready to say “I want it and here’s what I’ve been doing for a year to prepare.” I may not be a qualified teacher yet, but that is just a matter of time. 2 more years doing degree then 1 year training so I’d only be teaching a year unqualified, something many others have done.

The scary thing is this can’t be one of my grand plans that I don’t follow through on. Sure I would still get qualified but the difference would be there may not be a job for me at the end of it.

iPad

I need one. Obviously I don’t need one, but I want one so much that it may as well be need. It is impossible for me not to buy it. I would sell my every possession (well, bar clothes and my gaming PC) for it. I am actually weighing up whether to sell my Macbook or slap it on a credit card.

When it was first announced, like most people I was underwhelmed. However after reading all the reviews I’m convinced it’s the perfect device for me. I consume a lot of information on the internet. I spend almost all my spare time on it. Not just information, but media. Music, podcasts and audiobooks alone could take up more hours that I actually have to get through. A few months ago I came very close to buying a Kindle, and I’m glad I didn’t because now the iPad ticks that box. Added to that the various comic apps and I’m sold. Although the selection is slim pickings at the moment, I think eventually more recent and regular comics will appear on the device (and others). I know lots of comics shops are worried about such devices, and I understand why. But from my point of view, the nearest comic store takes me over an hour to get to. If I order online, the postage is nearly as much as the comic itself! I do feel sorry for traditional media stores. Music, film, games, news, all of them are shifting more and more online. It’s just the way of things, when new technology comes along old methods have to go. Instead of dragging their heels I really wish that a company like Marvel would leap forwards. With no cost of production other than to pay the writers/artists you could commission so much more work with minimal risk. Give Mockingbird a 4 issue mini series to a talented team and see if it takes off. If you want to preserve physical comics, have retailers give out special unlock codes on a scratch-card that allow you to get the digital version as a bonus to the physical. That way everyone’s happy!

Anyway, as I say it’s inevitable that I’ll get one. Out at the end of April here in the UK, though I’m not sure if the 3G version will be released at the same time. If the price plans are reasonable I would probably opt for the 3G version, that may depend on how much of a delay there was. 3G would only really benefit me in 2 ways. One, I can access whatever the hell I like at work. I’m quite capable of not letting things like Twitter affect my job, thanks. The other would be whenever I travel to Nottingham to see Rob. However this happens every other month at best, and there’s a strong possibility he may not be staying there much longer. His eyes are set on Edinburgh. Which is quite a distance!

In other news, Kick Ass was great and I’m not sure which I’m looking forward to the most, getting an iPad or seeing Iron Man 2.